A Place that is dear to my heart

I have only lived on this shore for the past four months, but it has become the place that is dearest to my heart.

A year ago, I was living far from the sea, in the house that I had shared with my husband for quarter of a century. When he had died suddenly, the home had become a house, a stage set for a play that had ended. My two children were now adults, making their way in the world and I did not know what the future would hold. I had become a prisoner in the walls of this once happy place, suffering from approphobia, panic attacks, a very severe depression and the feeling that my life as well as the life of my husband had ended.

One day, full of sorrow, I decided to "google" the word grief. I found myself in an American chat room where all manner of people gathered to mourn their lost ones and help each other through the dark days. There were women who had lost children, hubands who had lost wives, those who had lost friends to illness or murder.....the room was sometimes difficult but always rewarding and eventually some of the names became friends.

One night a man came online who lived, as I do, in the UK. I had never seen him online before and we barely spoke. When he appeared again a few days later we began to "chat" and it wasn't long before we realised we had a great deal in common, especially as he was also widowed. When I mentioned that I was struggling with aggrophobia and that I had never had this condition before losing my husband he suggested that he could come and visit me, and take me and my son out for a couple of hours just so that I could leave the house. And so began our love story because the man who arrived about two weeks later is the man I will be marrying this summer.

But that is a different story. Suffice it to say that I am now living with him on the western coast of the UK, just north of where my late husband and I had dreamt of living for many years. I walk along the beach every day - it is my daily meditation as I watch my dog Martha run through the waves and play with other dogs, bringing me into daily contact with people who have smiles of welcome on their faces.

I hear the sea breathe regularly, and the beat of my heart echoes its rise and fall. This morning the tide was in and the waves were throwing themselves exuberantly against the sea wall and I felt the joy and peace rise in my mind. There have been dark days as I struggled to adjust to this new life but the daily walk has been healing. One grey day, the sky seemed to mirror the leaden feeling in my heart, but when I looked up there were hundreds of small rainbows falling out of the heavens and I took them as signs of hope. Another day, when snow was falling in flurries across the sands and tears of cold and misery were falling down my cheeks, I turned to look back at the town and it was bathed in sunlight falling through a break in the clouds.

I see ships turning in and out of the port, and am reminded of my late husband who was a merchant seaman, and somehow although I have left what was our home I feel myself more connected with him here.

I am reminded that it is many months since I wrote in my gratitude journal. It is time to begin again. I list my five things without hesitation this time. I am grateful for my love for my new husband-to-be and his for me, I am grateful for the health and love of my two children, I am grateful for my little dog Martha who reminds me daily of how one should enjoy the small things of life and love unconditionally, I am grateful for the chance to live by the sea, a dream of mine for many years, and I am grateful for the chance to begin to write and fulfill the other dream, the dream of a creative life.

My daily walk by the sea is where I medidate, compose poetry, talk to my inner self and listen to the rhythm of the waves as they centre me and work their healing power on my soul. This is where I have, almost miraculously, been restored to myself.

A Prompt for this Week?

Do you, or the characters in your fiction, feel like puppets on a string? Does it feel like someone is pulling ths strings? How can you or your characters be released from the eternal dance on moody Mr ChangeAbout's srings?

Comprehensive list of journaling resources:

Writer's Digest 365 days of writing prompts
An excellent resource for daily practice and craft

Diarist.net Prompt-o-rama
The motherlode of prompts, questions, lists, ideas

Journal/Poetry
The National Association for Poetry Therapy
An eclectic worldwide gathering place for those who work with, or simply love, the interface between writing and healing. Kathleen Adams is NAPT President 2001-2003.

LifeJournal
Computer journalkeeping will never be the same with this powerful, user-friendly software modeled after Journal to the Self. Read Kathleen Adams' Top 10 Reasons Why LifeJournal Software is Close to Perfect. Enter Associate Code KA512 when you order your copy of LifeJournal from Chronicle Software.

Cyber Writer
pdf printable files designed for high schoo, students but applicable to all.

Journal for You
A site that instructs, encourages, and inspire young and old to keep journals, with intent to build supportive community to share ideas and tools. Hosted by Certified Instructor Deborah Bouziden.

Journal Magic
This site by Journal Coach and Certified Instructor Sue Meyn offers many interesting and innovative ways to approach your journal.

The Center for Autobiographical Studies with Tristine Rainer
The Center for Autobiographic Studies, directed by The New Diary and Your Life as Story author Tristine Rainer, is a non-profit educational organization dedicated to promoting the knowledge, appreciation, creation and preservation of contemporary autobiographic works.

The Journal Site at About.com with Catherine deCuir
This is perhaps the most comprehensive site on the internet for all things journal-related, hosted by veteran guide Catherine deCuir. Whether you want guidelines for getting started, enough prompts to keep you writing for the next several years, polls, interviews, or tips for specialty journals (e.g. gardening, travel), this is the place.

Writefully Yours, with Eldonna Bouton
Offers resources, motivation, and support to journal writers and creative writers, by Loose Ends author Eldonna Bouton.

Memories and Memoirs
A site dedicated to honoring and preserving memories, and the stories that bring these moments to life.

New Life Stories
Dr. Ellen Moore asks, "What if you invented a new version of your life? Or what if you finally began to listen to the story your soul has been whispering to you all these years?"

Today's Special Is...

EXCERCISE: LUNCH BOX SPY
http://www.dailywriting.net/LunchSpy.htm
DATE COMPLETED
MARCH 1,2006

I used this exercise to work on a character sketch for a Werewolf Story I'm working on. I love any activity that focuses on dialog and this exercise can be used in to do exactly that. Of course you could follow the directions or you could play with it like I did.
So here's my Lunch Box Interview with Al Dente
Werewolf.


Over the lips
passed the tongue
watch out stomach
here it comes.
-Lunch Time Prayer uttered by Students all over the world


Tell me about your lunches.
"They talk too much. ' Don't eat me...eeekkk, help' Stuff like that. Same old same old day after day. Its not exactly stimulating conversation."

What can you tell me about the lunches you eat?
" After awhile they all taste like chicken."


What do you remember about your school lunches?
" Oh, the good old days. Back then I use to love the hunt. Chase 'em down and chow them raw. Now the arthritis is setting in. Plus, there's nothing sadder then a Werewolf with bad eyes trying to catch its lunch. Especially when you trip and your lunch laughs..."

Were there any family jokes about what you liked to eat?

"I went through the alphabet...like all my lunch’s names had to start with the letter " A". After awhile my family started to call me Alphabetti Humanetti. Anyway, the villagers got wise to me and started to number their kids instead of naming them. I almost starved to death"

Who made your lunch?
"Uh...are you kidding? What did you skip biology class? Like you really don't you know where babies come from?"

Were you ever able to buy a lunch?
"This Ogre named Calvin use to sell lunches. He was a nice guy. But the lunches were caged and they tasted funny. Real gamy. They must've been bottom feeders."

What did they stock in the school canteen?
"Most of the time it was Damsels in Distress and Dragon Slaying Knights. By the end of the week they'd stew whatever was left over. It was BORING."

Did you ever slip across the street with your mates to the fish and chip shop?
"Yes, of course we did! And after we ate the cooks and patrons we use to dump the fish back into the Bay."

Did any one in your class have a better lunch than you? What did they have? Were you ever able to swap with them?
"I use to swap Werewolf Hunters for Vampire Hunters with my friend Carl. The Vampire Hunters were my favorite cause they'd try this Kung Fu fighting stuff on me.It was so funny. Sort of like dinner theatre. But the best part were these bow and arrow things some of them carried around. I'd use the arrows for a little something I invented called Hunter Kabobs.
Hunters on a Stick. Gosh I loved those...especially with catsup.


Where did you eat your lunch? Who ate their lunch with you? Did you eat alone?
"Werewolves are social animals you know and we don't like to eat alone. So I eat my friends and family. Oh no wait...I mean I eat WITH my friends and family"

What do you have for lunch now? Do you still own a lunchbox? Do you make your lunch or buy it?
"I skip lunch now and I eat healthier then I use to. I've gone back to my old ways and the Village I live in now has very clean living livestock. And yes I do have a lunchbox. It's that big box behind you with the little gold handles. Very good, it's a coffin. Thank you for noticing."

Who makes the best lunches?
"Those Villagers down the road.... they’re really into physical fitness and they really work on things like running. Wow and let me tell you they can do that darn fast.I mean, no matter how big or small young or old you should see those little legs work!"

Do you eat the same thing every day?
"Of course I do...nature of the beast you know."

Is there a lunch that still haunts you?
"They all do my friend...they all do."

What is the worst lunch you have ever eaten?
"Bob."

What is your favorite place to buy lunch?
"Noses and Toeses On The Pier"

Would you buy from a school canteen?
"Sure I would, especially if they serve Students on Rye."


THE PROBLEM IS THAT THERE ARE TOO MANY STUPID PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND NO ONE TO EAT THEM- CARLOS MENCIA

Joy of Journaling

Dan Price is constantly meeting people who wish they kept a journal. Although they understand that having a personal log of their experiences would help them feel more in touch with themselves and capable of facing life's challenges, most have a difficult time sticking with their writing. Price, the author of "How to Make a Journal of Your Life," says that the biggest mistake people make is approaching "journaling" as a job and not a joy.


How to Make a Journal of Our Life


"You have to connect with the passion of why you're doing it," he says. "Once you do that, you don't have to worry that you didn't write in it yesterday or all last week." Here, some ways to find the passion to keep on writing your journal:

Don't force it. Remember when you were a kid and you bought a padded diary with a lock to record your important thoughts — and then you did it for about three days and got bored? "A lot of people think they are going to write every day, and feel guilty when they miss a day," says Price. "If you make it a chore, it will never work." In reality, one of the best facets of journal-writing is that you can abandon it. "The thing about a journal is that it's always there when you need it — it doesn't disappear when it's neglected," says one wise Lifetime viewer.

Record the good stuff too! Rose Offner, author of "Journal to the Soul," believes most people tend to write in their journal during difficult, trying times. "When life is moving along and we're happy, we're not thinking about writing. It's only when we go through a challenge that we pick up the pen," she explains. Offner, who hosts journal workshops, says that although hashing through life's problems on paper can be useful, your journal experience won't be satisfying if it's nothing more than a complaint-fest. Writing about the blessings — the great phone conversation you had with your college roommate, the way your five-year-old looks in her Halloween costume — enables you to cultivate a greater understanding of what makes you happy and how you're evolving. "Sometimes people don't realize how well their lives are going," says Offner.

Take note of the world around you. Take the pressure off the journal-writing experience by tossing the idea that your journal must reflect how unique and brilliant you are. "People act as if their journals are going to be published," says Price. "Do what real writers do: Take notes about stuff that may or may not turn into something bigger." Next time you're riding the bus to work, pull out a notepad and describe the scenery you pass. Having lunch at a café? Paint a verbal picture of the other customers — the girl with the orange hair, the elderly man with a pocket watch — and fantasize about their lives. "Journaling is about slowing yourself down and noticing details about your life and environment," says Price.

Go to the heart of the matter. If you think that nothing in your life is worth recording, Offner suggests you start asking yourself some big questions: Where am I going? What do I want? "We have our own sage counsel within. We just have to stop and take a deep breath and begin writing," she says. "Often by the time you get to the last sentence, you have figured out something important about your life." Another trick: Begin each sentence with "The truth is…" Keep writing that until something bubbles up. Offner suggests that articulating your deepest desires brings them one step closer to reality.

Create a gift for yourself (and your offspring). Price's journals don't just contain words; they also hold photographs, sketches, dried flowers and leaves. "It's more like a scrapbook," he says. By incorporating images and artifacts, you can turn your diary into a beautiful keepsake. Price has kept an entire journal about his kids, combining written text, sketches and photographs. "When my kids are 30, they'll be able to go back and see all that," he says. "They'll have a document of their childhood." My aunt is very grateful that she kept a diary in high school and college. "We think we never forget some events, but we actually do," she says. "I love that journaling has helped me hang on to the memories."

by Linda Plaisted